Quilt

Piece by piece he collects us all.
Piece by piece he assembles us all
A cloth of different shades and colors
A cloth of different race and creed
A cloth of love and hate entwined as one
He sits on his throne & admires us all
He loves us all the same for a while
When he gets bored…he shows no mercy
Showers us with his cruelty...
Easy to please, easy to anger
When boredom gets him cornered
Piece by piece he forgets us all
Piece by piece he disassembles us all!!!

mrv 2009©

My Anguish!!!!

there isn't a day that dawns when your thoughts don't cross my mind.
there hasn't been a day that arrives without your presence in my heart.
you, my love have always been there.
you are my torment, my anguish
you are mine, yet we've never succumbed to temptation
i like the walls that stand between us and i hate them too
if these walls were to crumble
you no longer will be mine
my anguish is your thought
my anguish is the distance between us,
it is my prison,my solace.
you, my love have always been there
you, my love are my anguish, my freedom!

mrv 2009©

Calm before the storm

What a deceiving sight we see
‘tis the calm before the storm
It rolls in quietly and cunningly
When it arrives oh! We’ll know
It will be pretty & white
But wait ‘til u step outside
You will slip & slide!


mrv 2009©

Errors….

I did it I confess
U forced me I profess
A mistake is a mistake when left alone
Corrections I will make for you alone!
Your errors are my cloak
I wear it ever so gracefully
For you and you alone
Errors I pledge no more

mrv 2009©
for joe

wish...

Blanket of white covered the night
Through your eyes I see the sight
The Moon the Stars all bright
Wish you were here to ease my plight

Name...my name!!!!

At least five to six times a day I go through the same old routine...
it's M U B I N A!...& I am not a routine type of a person at all. So when I called Pappa Johns earlier today, this is what I went through...


Pappa Johns: Hello Pappa Johns, this is Michael. Can I take your order?
Me : Hi, Mike
Michael: Can I have your phone # and name please
Me: 920-867-5309 and my name is Mubina
Mike: Rubena
Me:NO! M U B I N A as in M as in money...U as an umbrella...B as a boy...I as in...
Michael: Sorry, is it Mubina?
Me: Yes its M U B I N A.!" Thank you
Michael: Thank you. What would you like?

I place the usual order and confirmed the route to our place as we do reside in the boonies. I was told by a quite patient Mike that it would be roughly 45mins..that is to be expected as the weather has been quite nasty lately.

With 45mins to an hour to kill, I was pondering all the different names I have logged on at work. Rob had suggested a list and boy is it ever a list? I have a total of 63 different versions of MUBINA and going. Today, I don't know why but I was furious about the whole not getting my simple name right concept. It has never bugged me before, but today I was ticked off. Arrggg!!! Many people struggle to get my name right the first time. However once they get it right they do not forget it, me or my curls. Interestingly enough, my name means to clarify in Arabic and is taken right out the Quran.

My name is the one thing that I LOVE about myself... it makes me unique! I like it, because it is my identity. It defines me to the core, it is who I am…MUBINA!! So when the pizza guy finally came and on the receipt…it said MOBINA…I let out faint yell, realized what I had done.. apologized and paid him his regular tip. Couple of slices sans the crust later…I wondered what the pizza guy might have perceived my faint yet quite discernible annoyed yell to be? I also made a note to delete the list….

2...

i.
my body your temple
my temple your soul
your soul my destiny
my destiny your soul

ii.
you and i where do we go
you are the moon and I a mere star
for when we collide, it is my demise
my existence is my pennant
your love is my solace
for when we collide, it is my demise

Snow snow snow & then some rain.. :)

Snow snow & more snow…

I woke up to a beautiful blanket of white all over again. The trees, the roof tops & the mail boxes all were breath takingly beautiful. I went a little crazy with my camera again, walked out in my pj’s and started snapping. I wanted to capture all the beauty before the wind blows it all away. As I was trying to capture what may last only a few moments his thought lingered my mind. As if for a moment I wasn’t here, I was somewhere else and suddenly the snow wasn’t snow anymore but rain. Warm summer rains like I used to know of my childhood in India.


I remember the sweet smell of rain that often precedes the warm rains. Up there, on the terrace my world changed. It was mine, with no barriers or limits. I dreamed up there, I lived up here. Time certainly has changed a lot. Instead of rains, I find solace in the snow now and wait for spring to bring in the rains. I still dream but not as much, I long for those lost days when everything revolved around my terrace.

My memories are a bit faded these days, but on certain days they tend to appear out of the blue and engulf my thoughts. I await the rains now; maybe they will release me from this melancholy mood of mine. I have grown up quite a bit since my terrace days, but sometimes the kid in me beckons to be let free. So, today barefoot and barely dressed when I stepped onto the blanket of white, I was taken back for a moment. I was a kid again, in my white sleeveless dress perched up on the water tank to jump into the make shift pool of rain water(used to plug the drainage holes to retain the water), to splash & scream…
rain rain
oh rain do come again
come today, tomorrow and morrow after..

choices

It has been years since they’ve seen each other let alone be on the same continent. Sydney never thought she would love someone so much. Her love for him has transcended marriages, births and decades. It has, and it will until one of them succumbs to the inevitable. She knows, it is wrong! She knows it is insane to think that she can love two and expect to be loved back by both.

A dreamer is what her friends call her. A lunatic...not the kind one commits to the asylums, but the kind one looks for and once in a blue moon you find that lunatic and there you have...Sydney.

A dream is what she thinks he is. Tall, dark and handsome 30 something who knows what he wants and always gets it. He is the kind of man one doesn't expect to find but the shock comes when he befriends you. He is charming, intelligent and funny..and there you have Phoenix.

A gentleman with a halo that never fades or falters. He too is tall, dark and dashingly handsome. Never the one to give in, but always considers others before himself. People flock to him as though he exudes a magnetic force. His love for Sydney is undeniable even when she's no where in sight...and there you have Aaris

She is married to Aaris and she loves him no doubt about it. It is Phoenix she’s always battled with. She has loved him since she can stand on her own. Phoenix knew she loved him and she figured (or thought) he loved her too. Over the years, infatuations came and went by yet Phoenix was a constant.

Aaris’s arrival complicated things a bit, Sydney didn’t understand how she can love another but she knew she just did. Maybe she was scared, maybe she was confused but one day she got enough courage to break all barriers and professed her love to Phoenix. He broke her heart that day.

Years passed by before she ever spoke to Phoenix again. She married Aaris and is quite happy with him. She never spoke of him as much as she used to. She would see him at social events or just around town; there they’d exchange a smile and nods but no conversation. She was busy with Aaris. She had a family now and she was happy, they were happy.

Even though Sydney never spoke of Phoenix, there hasn’t been a moment that has passes by without Phoenix's thought crossing her mind. Aaris knows how much Sydney loves him and he also knows when he married her she brought along Phoenix. Sydney still wonders why Aaris doesn’t get upset about Phoenix, but she also knows that she loves him more than she can ever confess too and maybe just maybe after years with Sydney, Aaris knows she truly loves him.

Where life takes us? We don't know, we can't predict our paths but when we choose those that accompany us it makes it easier to tread those tough roads. Sydney knows that she has Aaris to stand beside and even today she knows if she ever truly needed Phoenix, he would be right there next to her just like Aaris. I guess we never really choose whom we fall in love with, but one thing is for sure, those that you love and those that love you will always stand beside you, no matter what may come.

.......

his thirst her faith
his faith her lust
he smiles, she cries
he lives, she hopes
he dies but once
he lives for lust
lest love live twice
her thirst his faith
her faith his lust
mrv 2009©