you are missed

I see his eyes and feel the pain
I see his eyes & see the tears
I hug him and I know the need
He needs you & you are gone
He loves you & you are missed
Help me help him…help us
Show a sign, let him know, he was loved…he is loved!
He is hurt, he is mad…help him pour it out
Helpless am I…words fail me …for they never do
But when I see his eyes…they dissipate!

You are loved …you are gone....you are missed!

For: RH

Sleepless night and I am thinking of you
Eyes wide shut & I am dreaming of you
My heart beats & I am blaming you
I sense you when I breath I breath & I am sensing you

Moi Shari

You keep me sane
You keep me grounded
You make me laugh
& you’ve made me cry
You have kept me out of jail…oh but more than once
You read my work & praise me higher than high
Drugs you supply without a hitch
For more than once I was a bitch
Envy you for you have Ruthie so close by
One of these days I will come by
Shari, oh Shari…you are a friend
A friend I need when I am in need
You are a friend indeed!

Bhiini bhiini sii barish ki boondein...
choo gayee yun anng mera...
jaise kahin meelon dur se ussne haath badhaya aur chooaa mujhe!!
           Saundhi saundhi sii khusboo iss barish ki…
           yaad aayii woh barish, jub hum the, tum the, aur tha bachpan hamara…
           woh fidvi mahal ki chhat…woh milna woh rootha...aur phir manana uska
           hai woh barish…woh bachpan hamara!!!

Untreaded Paths

Ever feel like something's amiss? Like you didn't complete something?

We all tend to go about everyday like clockwork. We tick tock ON at the crack of dawn or when the high wears off, and we tick tock OFF when the sun sets. Not knowing what we missed or didn't pay attention to.

We notice all that our consciousness allows us to. Deep down in our subconscious mind do we pay heed to those things we could've achieved? Those feat we could have gained?  Do we take risks we dared not to? We look at our achievements and never at our failures as to why we failed? Our nature is so adaptable, yet we keep on the path we are shown, have seen or sometimes have decided upon ourselves...I say we take those risks, make those changes and stray off of our paths...take those untreaded roads and LIVE!!!!

my masa

Fragile body, strong mind & a kind heart
Lived to live & never grumbled
Toiled in hardship & never wavered
Troubles beckoned but he moved on
Lost & gained all that was near & dear…but he moved on!
Faith in God & love for loved ones
Masaji, you’re the best that I knew…you’ll me missed!!!

Temptation accepts defeat!!!!

A new year, a new beginning & a new decade! I will admit I have no will power so when 2011 dawned I took an oath!
My Oath:
This I swear & swear with heart that my temptations will not over power me. I will uphold this oath I take with pride that when 2011 is about roll out on its heels I will accept 2012 amid utmost joy & pride. For I will have not succumbed to temptation!!


Julies' Stars!

Julie, a colleague and friend gave me star stickers & with pride I post them on my calendar every day that I make it through. It is a challenge & for me even harder.

So, for all the times that I have surrendered to my follies I say BRING IT ON!!!
I am here to battle all those demons that make it impossible for me year after year.

This year you will not conquer me, this year I will make it through! This year I will be victorious!

Dreams

"Old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but glad I had them" RK-BOMC

I wake up in the middle of the night jolted by what seems to be a splash of water. I find myself standing knee deep in a river somewhere. It all seems so surreal, so pristine, and so beautiful. Suddenly I am back in my cold & comfy bed.

I used to dream but of late, I haven't had any that I can recall. The thoughts that cross my mind these days have been vague and sullen. I day dream every so often and wonder what would have been? What could have been? Again, I find myself in the real world and gasping for a single breath!

Tonight, I lay myself to sleep with hopes of new, exciting and promising dreams. Dreams of you, dreams of me and dreams of all that is to be!!

my thoughts lead to you

Thoughts cross my mind and I am thinking of you.
The moon appears over the lake and I am thinking of you…
A breeze passes by and I am thinking of you.
The sun rises and sets at your thoughts,
You have me enthralled and encaged.
I can’t escape even if I try to and GOD knows I want to.
I want to break free, I want to soar high and scream…
I am free…free at last free of you, of her, of us…of dreams!!!

Day 1

I managed to get up & out of bed. I did what I have wanted to for years and never was able to. No reasonable excuse except plain and simple Laziness!!