Good Bye 2008

Lets say this year sucked! However, I am thankful to many things. I am thankful for my parents, my siblings, my brood of nephews and 1 niece... I am thankful for my extended family ...my aunts, uncles and cousins...I am thankful for a husband who understands me or alteast tries to..( I am quite difficult to get along with..let alone spend 15yrs with..)and I am thankful for my naughty yet very very very good kids. I love them to pieces.

I am thankful for the people I work with, they are my family in my family's absence. I am thankful for a few chosen friends and a few acquaintances..you all know who you are...so no names being droped here..lol

Most of all I am thankful to GOD. I have faith and that is what makes me stronger. Those of you that know me, know that I am not a religious person at all, but I am a strong believer in One GOD and I have my utmost faith in him.

Hope 2009 is a better year than 2008!!

Compassion...where is it these days?

I read the email, and gasped..my eyes could not believe I was getting a lecture on how fortunate I am, compared to the rest of the world that is suffering! Where was the compassion? I felt like..I was discarded like a has been, someone just knocked me down and said...get up..without extending their hand for support.

That's it!! I was looking for moral support..additional support. I don't know why I bother sometimes. I guess, I care way too much! I shouldn't..but I just do. Raj tells me not to let little things like that bother me...but IT just does! I don't know how to discard it, discard those that aren't important to me anymore...

pain

When it comes to pain, I am known to have zero tolerance, and right now I am in pain! How do I tolerate it, I don’t know!
I remember Dr. Vaisaiwala for my childhood days and his little pretty packaged pills, often color coordinated. I hate pills and syrupy meds the most. As a child, I would take them out back on the balcony at Fidvi Mahal and toss them.
I was an expert at tossing them…until I got caught.. that wasn’t fun at all, got yelled at by Mana Auntie and Abbas was not far behind taunting me. Those were the days, even in the torment of it all…it was fun! That was it, from then on any pills or meds..my mom would monitor them like a hawk or stick J on me to make sure I would take them and not toss them.

Here today when I take my hydrocodone, I choke for a minute and swallow it painstakingly. It numbs the pain temporarily but gives me this lethargic feeling. I don’t like it. Shari asks me often to share the love…I kindly response by saying…”I am counting them when I leave..” LOL :))

Time

Time is like the waters of a raging river, it’s on a one way journey to the deep dark abyss of the vast oceans…amidst the churning currents it disappears never to reappear again.


A moment, an era, a generation. What does time possess that we yearn for more? As Humans we are never satisfied, so time is never enough. We bicker and bitch about how little of this and how little of that! Well do we ever think about the time that we really spend complaining, is the time we lost.


I am not saying that I am complaint free, heck I complain enough for my share and maybe more than enough sometimes. I look at all those things I take for granted because I don’t have time or make time for it and wonder why I ponder in the unknown when I can spend my time efficiently and take charge of my life now!


Having too much time on hand we complain and too little we complain!! We are never pleased with all we have and when we are pleased we find excuses to be fearful. Fear of losing, fear of achieving too much, fear of life, and fear of death and then there are our so called phobias. I have a few of those…won’t write which ones, I don’t want to be vulnerable, to be totally exposed. There has to me some mystery, some intrigue, and some Wow moment!


I feel as though I am rambling off, as an insomniac what else do I have to do? I am therefore I must!