Good Bye 2008

Lets say this year sucked! However, I am thankful to many things. I am thankful for my parents, my siblings, my brood of nephews and 1 niece... I am thankful for my extended family ...my aunts, uncles and cousins...I am thankful for a husband who understands me or alteast tries to..( I am quite difficult to get along with..let alone spend 15yrs with..)and I am thankful for my naughty yet very very very good kids. I love them to pieces.

I am thankful for the people I work with, they are my family in my family's absence. I am thankful for a few chosen friends and a few acquaintances..you all know who you are...so no names being droped here..lol

Most of all I am thankful to GOD. I have faith and that is what makes me stronger. Those of you that know me, know that I am not a religious person at all, but I am a strong believer in One GOD and I have my utmost faith in him.

Hope 2009 is a better year than 2008!!

Compassion...where is it these days?

I read the email, and gasped..my eyes could not believe I was getting a lecture on how fortunate I am, compared to the rest of the world that is suffering! Where was the compassion? I felt like..I was discarded like a has been, someone just knocked me down and said...get up..without extending their hand for support.

That's it!! I was looking for moral support..additional support. I don't know why I bother sometimes. I guess, I care way too much! I shouldn't..but I just do. Raj tells me not to let little things like that bother me...but IT just does! I don't know how to discard it, discard those that aren't important to me anymore...

pain

When it comes to pain, I am known to have zero tolerance, and right now I am in pain! How do I tolerate it, I don’t know!
I remember Dr. Vaisaiwala for my childhood days and his little pretty packaged pills, often color coordinated. I hate pills and syrupy meds the most. As a child, I would take them out back on the balcony at Fidvi Mahal and toss them.
I was an expert at tossing them…until I got caught.. that wasn’t fun at all, got yelled at by Mana Auntie and Abbas was not far behind taunting me. Those were the days, even in the torment of it all…it was fun! That was it, from then on any pills or meds..my mom would monitor them like a hawk or stick J on me to make sure I would take them and not toss them.

Here today when I take my hydrocodone, I choke for a minute and swallow it painstakingly. It numbs the pain temporarily but gives me this lethargic feeling. I don’t like it. Shari asks me often to share the love…I kindly response by saying…”I am counting them when I leave..” LOL :))

Time

Time is like the waters of a raging river, it’s on a one way journey to the deep dark abyss of the vast oceans…amidst the churning currents it disappears never to reappear again.


A moment, an era, a generation. What does time possess that we yearn for more? As Humans we are never satisfied, so time is never enough. We bicker and bitch about how little of this and how little of that! Well do we ever think about the time that we really spend complaining, is the time we lost.


I am not saying that I am complaint free, heck I complain enough for my share and maybe more than enough sometimes. I look at all those things I take for granted because I don’t have time or make time for it and wonder why I ponder in the unknown when I can spend my time efficiently and take charge of my life now!


Having too much time on hand we complain and too little we complain!! We are never pleased with all we have and when we are pleased we find excuses to be fearful. Fear of losing, fear of achieving too much, fear of life, and fear of death and then there are our so called phobias. I have a few of those…won’t write which ones, I don’t want to be vulnerable, to be totally exposed. There has to me some mystery, some intrigue, and some Wow moment!


I feel as though I am rambling off, as an insomniac what else do I have to do? I am therefore I must!

Hump Day!

I miss a friend when it comes to Hump Day!..no pun intended. He'd greet me with, "Morning Mubs..Wednesday..HUMP DAY!"

It was a typical morning at the Vohra household...Awwallyn yelling at Shuara for running late..offcourse that all starts after my cold and warm hugs & kisses. Always a pleasure.

All was going as well as it could on a hump day, until Nance told me of the terror attacks in Bombay..sorry Mumbai! Right away I thought it probably had to do with some islamic terrorist faction...pull up FoxNews..and guess what I am right! I hate it!! Right away I start thinking of those poor souls who are either dead or hurt..and those still in the mess. Those responsible should be brought to justice and without pointing fingers. The people of Mumbai have to stand together leaving aside the difference of religion, cast and creed. Work together as one India!

Bombay always brings me back to good memories and old days. Time has been quite cruel, we have all drifted apart. Emotional and geographical distances has made it even more difficult. Well, I accept that time moves on., and so must we!

Beginning...

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen"_Winston Churchill.

I seem to have no courage at all when it comes to speaking up for myself, so I use my journal or this blog to ward off my rants.

I have a wierd relationship with sleep, it eludes me when I need it the most and beckons me when I don't! Woke up to Awwallyn's cold tiny hands around me in an early morning embrace as always from her and a peck on the cheek..her lips were cold too! I hugged her back and asked to be left alone for 15 mins or so...no avail to that, Shuara popped in with her warm hugs and kisses too! :)

There goes my 15mins of sleep...oh! can I just take a pill and sleep until I can't sleep.. I want sleep until the sun sets and the moon rises..sleep beyond that...if only it were possible?! Got up, got dressed and out the door in 45 mins....I think I just drove until I got to my destination...I stopped at a couple of school crossings and a few red lights..here begins my Tuesday November 25th...

an old memory

Mum calls," it’s time for school, you'll miss the bus..." regretfully I drag myself down the dreaded 90 steps and out the door. Sling the newly purchased backpack on my shoulders and walk to the bus stop. Awaiting there amidst of 20-30 kids I find my group..ooos & ahhhs later we compare our newly acquired items..just like last year. My backpack (thank you mum) is the latest..Do they know how ziddi I was to get it? :) back then I always got what I wanted!!

Bus arrives..we get on in and on our way.. the bus makes several stops to haul in some more kids..finally we arrive at school...our school. Barely on the edge of the city, our school shares a common wall with a cemetery where my grandparents and countless other relatives are six feet under(rip)...I don't think it ever scared me. I would often find myself wondering where my grave would end up. I had a spot picked out...under this huge Imlee Tree...wonder if the tree still stands there?

Our school was huge...3 stories high and it was KG-12 grade...and was it noisy...
Today the smell of everything new engulfs me...
New Uniforms
New Backpacks
New Shoes
New Socks
New Books
New Canteen & Lunch Box
New Pens, Pencils... I got Sheaffer Pen, a Pilot & a boxed set of Pen & Pencil too.. and offcourse my favorite Natraj eraser too!

Meet & greet, see the boy I have had the biggest crush on and avoid him. New strategy this year. Let’s see if he notices...he did!

Assigned classed & roll call...oh! It was so boot camp like...regular routine...assignments of classes, teachers, lunch hour and phy ed...pretty soon it was 6pm…and time to haul on to the buses again. I hated routine and still do...unfortunately school was essential to me, for me, for my existence. Even at that young age I had plans…plans to leave and never look back...and I didn't!


Translations:

Ziddi= Stubborn
Imlee= Tamarind