Dreams

"Old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but glad I had them" RK-BOMC

I wake up in the middle of the night jolted by what seems to be a splash of water. I find myself standing knee deep in a river somewhere. It all seems so surreal, so pristine, and so beautiful. Suddenly I am back in my cold & comfy bed.

I used to dream but of late, I haven't had any that I can recall. The thoughts that cross my mind these days have been vague and sullen. I day dream every so often and wonder what would have been? What could have been? Again, I find myself in the real world and gasping for a single breath!

Tonight, I lay myself to sleep with hopes of new, exciting and promising dreams. Dreams of you, dreams of me and dreams of all that is to be!!

my thoughts lead to you

Thoughts cross my mind and I am thinking of you.
The moon appears over the lake and I am thinking of you…
A breeze passes by and I am thinking of you.
The sun rises and sets at your thoughts,
You have me enthralled and encaged.
I can’t escape even if I try to and GOD knows I want to.
I want to break free, I want to soar high and scream…
I am free…free at last free of you, of her, of us…of dreams!!!

Day 1

I managed to get up & out of bed. I did what I have wanted to for years and never was able to. No reasonable excuse except plain and simple Laziness!!

Why me?

As the summer changes to fall and the trees shed their cover why do I feel like I become just as vulnerable as the bare trees? I hear the geese every so often headed to warmer abode...and wonder if they'd survive if they stay back?
One by one they all cross the oceans & onto greener pastures, why do I stay back? why do I let the tides of change touch my toes & recede? All these questions and no answers. The water is cold, deep and dark...it invites, it calls for me to jump in and let go! I wonder if did, would anyone miss me?

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memories...

I came to listen to "ye raate na ee purani...from Julie and that was it. All the old memories started flowing. I recalled those days spent at Fidvi Mahal. The naughtiness, the mischievous rendezvous on first floor with all of us behind the closed doors, the beatings I got for cheating at a game of langdi or hide&seek! Seven fists from every player...on my back & it hurt! Everyone hit hard enough to cause pain...but there were a few of them who'd go easy everytime. Why? U know who you are, I need not drop names!

I would sneek the keys while my mum & aunts slept during their routine afternoon naps. We'd all get in...go out the back door & lock the front door with its old fashion lock. Wonder if mum still has that lock. I would like to hold on to that!
Those were the days...that was the childhood I remember and cherish.....those were the days! The days gone by, days I wish my children would have had. It wasn't all about gadgets or texting, it was all about FUN...about having all those you loved by you!!! It was about being a child....our kids sad to say will never know that!!!

you are missed...

I saw the sun rise before I fell asleep... the day dawned & I was dismayed and chaotic... night looms again & I fear sleep...

I am "spoiled"!! as many would attest to it. However, I do not think so. I did not think so...until the sun set yesterday. My world seemed incomplete, desolate and quite. I didn't feel spoiled at all when I forced myself to my bedroom...I didn't feel spoiled when I watched the sun rise & had no one to share it with.

Amazing how we take things, people and certain liberties for granted? I am probably the only one to admit it. Life does not stop as time does not. It goes on!! I fear the day I have to go along alone. It is unbearable now knowing that it is only temporary...