my muse - ii

Life sure does play cruel games with us humans. Some of us are smart enough to join in and the rest, well it is pain to watch them suffer.

-As time passes by I look back at “my muse” & wonder what if?
-What if he & I were to take the same path?
-where would we have ended up?

All these `what ifs` and no one to answer them. Shame and guilt eludes my thoughts when I think of him. I feel no shame for he is my muse. I feel no guilt for I haven’t committed a crime.
He visits my dreams from time to time. Some are pleasant and some are dreadful. I don’t dwell on them much anymore. My life is my own now! I have taken control, I have taken charge and I have no regrets. We talk once in a blue moon and it is getting to be a little awkward. I don’t know what to say when we get on the phone..& then the silence follows with ums & huhs…